Long night at work

I am still working, but luckily I am getting ready to leave. This has been a long week. I am very much looking forward to Connelly's 1st Halloween this weekend.

Tonight we start trying again. I am most fertile today through Sunday, so I got my fingers crossed for a good month!

All right, well I am out of here.

Have a good night!

Back to Work

This weekend was one of the first we have had at home for awhile. It we haven't always been out of town, just SO busy. I was able to get so much cleaning done on Saturday & Sunday, it was just so nice to be home!!!

I went to this Holiday Fair w/ my mom & sisters on Thursday night. Holy pregnant women. I have not seen so many pregnant people together ever I don't think. I think I notice them more now that I want to be part of their "team." I am finishing up my period right now and hope to start trying starting either tomorrow or Wednesday night. However this week is one of the two worst weeks at my work all year. I am going to be extremely tired and know that all I am going to want to do when I get home is sleep not have sex. So that is hard. I really wished I enjoyed "trying" to have babies more. And don't get me wrong I do enjoy it once we're doing it, however, it is the process before sex of just getting ready and the anticipation of it that I dread, and partly b/c I am sort of lazy about it. I feel quite badly about this, but I am just being honest.

Anyways, hope everyone had a good weekend and wishes you all a great Halloween week!!!
Beth

Missing Connelly

So I had a conference today and court tonight for work so I am not w/ my lil' monkey. I could hear her over the phone in the car w/ Jeremy earlier today and it made me miss her. Tomorrow night I am having a night w/ my mom & sisters and won't be able to see her then either. I am really going to just want to snuggle w/ her this weekend. Luckily Jeremy's mom is watching her tomorrow so maybe she'll meet me for lunch.

Monday we were over at Jeremy's brother's house hanging out w/ them & his parents & Connelly kept getting in my purse. She kept pulling out my Femara pills. At first Jeremy's mom put them back, and then I could see the questions running through her mind from across the room. The next time Connelly grabbed them, I could see that Jeremy's mom placed them back into my purse, but in a way that she could read what they were. So I don't know if she suspected they were prenatal vitamins or what & I don't know if she'll know exactly what they are from reading the bottle. But now she knows I am on something at least. I didn't really want them or my family to know we had started trying yet, but oh well. Hopefully we won't be trying long.

When we went to see the RE last month I asked if I would ever have to do the HCG test again. It was SOOOOOO painful the last time I had it done, so I was hoping not. He said yes. If I don't get pregnant in the next couple months, he said that is what he would suggest before anything else. I told him that I would need major drugs to knock me out b/c that procedure was a million times worse than giving birth to a 9+lb baby. He now says he doesn't know if my tube was really blocked, yeah right, it was freaking blocked, I know, I was there & the dye would NOT go through that side. Believe she tried everything, it was BLOCKED! Please, please, please don't make me go through that again, not only for the pain but also for the price. It wasn't covered, so we had to pay for it all and it was over a grand. Nope, don't want that price tag again.

Anyways, thanks for letting me rant again. Hope all are having a great day:)
Beth

Here We Go Again!

Day 3 of this cycle & I just popped my first Femara pill in over a year & a half. I am not looking forward to this trying to get pregnant process again. This will be our 2nd (sort of 3rd) month of trying. The 1st month we really only had sex once, so I can't really count that month, but last month we actively tried and no baby, just my extremly heavy period. I was pretty disappointed on Thursday night when I knew I was starting my period. I didn't think it would happen that fast, but I was so hopeful. I REALLY didn't want to have to stress & worry like before.

I can't forget the fact that I have a beautiful little girl that is the light of my life & I am SO thankful for. But I can't help to want more. I have always wanted a huge family and so I hope that someday I have that.

It was so weird that in the months before we started trying I was SO not ready to have another baby or to be pregnant. But now that I am ready, I feel like I am not only ready to be pregnant, but actually ready to have the baby here now. God, I am really impatient. If I get pregnant this month then our baby will be due at the end of July. I learned from my first pregnancy that you don't get to plan when your baby is due, however, I really wanted a summer baby this time. I really wanted to be on maternity leave over the summer & I really wanted our babies to be 18 months apart. Right now I can still get a couple of those wants, but I feel like w/ each day I am running out of time. And again, I will take a baby whenever, but you can't help to have those superficial wants.

I have only told my best friend that I am actively trying right now, so a couple people (that see me on a regular basis) might find out now, but oh well.

Thanks for letting me rant. I hope everyone is doing okay out there. Sorry it has been so long. We have had an extremely busy summer & fall. We are doing great. Connelly is getting so big. She has 8 teeth, she crawls, pulls up, stands (even though I haven't really seen this yet), and finally says "mama!" She is my everything and I thank god everyday for her. I attached a recent photo of her.

I will be back b/c I want to share this journey with you all again!

Beth