thanks for the comments

Thank you girls for the comments, they have really calmed my nerves. I swear what a rollercoaster pregnancy is:( Anyways, thanks again, I really needed some kind words & I REALLY appreciate you guys taking the time to give that to me:)

I had a little cramping earlier, but that has now subsided. Just got back from a delicious x-mas dinner w/ the hubby. And now I am off to bed. Sleep tight:)

Now what???

I was just starting to relax a tad and then I went to the bathroom and I have a really weird discharge. I know that some discharge is normal, I remember it w/ Connelly however, this is different than what it has been. This has a more watery consistency and isn't clear like is has been, but has a yellowish-brownish tint. I would not consider it brown, however, has the slight tint. WTF!!! Is this normal? I am hoping that b/c the doc did an exam w/ his fingers of up there that maybe he just disrupted up there a tad and that this is just the result of that but not abnormal. I am just worried though, what if him doing that fucked something up. God, I swear, I will never be able to relax. I just don't know what this is.

Things are A Okay:)

Everything went perfectly!!! I am so thrilled and am happy & relaxing tonight:) The baby looked like a little gummy bear. The heartbeat was 176. My doctor didn't use the doppler since I had an u/s and it looked fine, but the sonographer told me to wait another week or so and then I should be able to find it. I am SO excited. Thank you all for your well wishes, they mean alot & worked:)

On a different note, Connelly got her right top & bottom molars in tonight & has been so fussy all night. I just put her down & she spent about 5 minutes just talking away in her crib when usually she would cry. It was cute to hear her in there.

Life is good tonight & I am trying to enjoy it. Except now I have to pay bills & figure out how I am going to afford them all + taxes + the mortgage. Sometimes being a grown up isn't so fun, but so worth it other times, like tonight enjoying Connelly's company and pleased w/ today's results!!!

Pretty Nervous for my appt.

So I am getting more nervous as the clock ticks on. I will leave work in a little over an hour for my appt. I just fear that I am not going to get good news and that this dream is about to be crushed. I just hope that my fears aren't going to be the truth. I find myself being excited one moment, but then quickly trying to calm myself to keep me down to earth and not to get too ahead of myself. I really want this and hope that I get good news soon. I would love to be able to see that beautiful heartbeat again and be able to relax for a couple minutes. Please keep me in your thoughts through this nervewracking time!

Still Being Cautious

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. We had a snow-packed one. I think we got over a foot of snow, which isn't that common here. We had a great Christmas though.

Sorry I haven't posted, had a lot on my mind. I am still pretty nervous about the pregnancy. Some days I feel pregnant and other days I don't. I just have a bad feeling. I try to remain positive, but it is SO hard. I REALLY hope Bean is growing inside me, but I just don't know. I know that it is still really early, but I have been trying to use my fetal doppler and haven't been able to find the baby's heartbeat on my own. I know I am no expert, but still it makes me a little nervous. I have grown some and there is a little bump there, but I don't feel like it has got bigger in the last couple weeks. I just don't know. I am so scared that I will go in tomorrow for the u/s and my first OB appointment only to find out the baby is gone. I am SO scared. Please, please, please let Bean be okay!!! I think if everything is okay tomorrrow, I might relax for a moment. I just hope that I am able to hear the heartrate w/ my fetal doppler at home soon if everything is okay. I haven't voiced my fears to Jeremy. I feel bad b/c if something awful does happen tomorrow I feel like he is going to be blindsided whereas I have had these fears for 2 weeks now (since my last u/s). I know everything was okay at my last u/s, but my fear is that the doc is going to say the baby stopped growing that day. I am just so scared about tomorrow. I know that we are so happy right now w/ Connelly and she brings SO much joy to our lives and we would get through another m/c but I just don't want to have to deal w/ that. I want to bring our baby into the world this July, I just hope that that is in my cards.

Please pray for me:)

Bean is growing quite nicely!

I have been cramping the last couple days and was starting to just get a bad feeling so I went back to the RE this morning. Bean was doing great, measuring at 8 weeks & 3 days w/ 180 heart rate. I am 8 weeks, 4 days, so bean is only measuring one day behind which I don't think is that big of a deal. Connelly has another double ear infection, so I am home w/ her today. I am laying on the couch watching Supernanny getting ready to take a nap, she just went down about 15 minutes ago. My house is a COMPLETE disaster and so I feel like I should be cleaning right now, but I am SO tired. The nurse did say that I have a pretty big cyst on my left side & that I have a bunch of fluid (old blood) in my uterus. She said the blood could be from a sac that never grew. Anyways she said if I were to have some brown blood or spotting, that not to freak out that is all it was. Yeah right, if I start spotting, you better believe I will be right back at the doctor's office! She said that it might get reabsorbed and I will never see it, so that is what I am hoping for. She also said it is okay to have sex. I have been holding out from Jeremy for weeks now b/c I was so nervous, so it looks like I am ready for those "extra-curricular" activities again. Jeremy is going to be thrilled!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl (2 days late)

Connelly's b-day & party were this past Saturday. It was absolutely everything I'd dreamed of. We had SUCH a blast. I attached some pics to let you all see. We are all exhausted now. I had to change my doctor appt. to the OB to Friday (from tomorrow) b/c I have to take Connelly in for her 1 year checkup tomorrow, and I didn't want to reschedule that b/c I think she has another ear infection:( I am not happy about waiting 4 more days though until I have an u/s. I just pray everything is going good.

Hormones

My hormones are running wild. Last night I started crying b/c I ate too much. Really, I am laughing at myself right now thinking about it. Today, I have been crying at almost every show I watched, and don't really know why. I went home early from work yesterday, I was so uneasy and decided why not. It was so nice to relax. Last night Connelly threw up in the middle of the night. I don't think she is sick, last night, before she went to sleep, I think she ate a leaf or something she found on the ground & kept coughing. It must have upset her stomach & she woke up around 3am and was crying, when I went in there she smelled of puke. It was in her bed, but all dry so I don't know when it happened. Now all I have been able to smell all day is puke, it is quite disgusting actually. I stayed home from work today too. When I woke up this morning & it had snowed & I was tired, I decided that I am super stressed out about home stuff & work stuff. Then I realized that I am always going to be behind at work, but if I stayed home, I could relax & maybe get some stuff done around the house, so I called in. It has taken me about 3x as long to do anything b/c I feel exhausted, but whatev, I am just glad I'm home. I feel bad about not working, but again, so glad I am home. Alright, I think I have taken a long enough break, better get back to putting clothes away:)

B

Connelly was due 1 year ago today

I can't believe that Connelly was due a year ago. It is so odd to me how recently I think back to a year ago I was doing this or a year ago I was doing that. A year ago tonight, Jeremy & I purchased our Christmas tree to have it ready when we brought home our little girl. I can't believe a year has already gone by. She is such a big girl, I feel so blessed to have her in my life.

As far as me & bean & the pregnancy are going, pretty good I hope. I am very tired & a little uneasy still. I still think I am going to try to get an u/s done on Friday. I want to get Connelly's 1 year pics taken Friday so I have them to hand out for her party, but know Friday is going to be SO stressful even w/ taking the day off.

Yesterday Connelly starting transitioning to the 1's room. Jeremy's parents picked her up from daycare yesterday and she was EXHAUSTED last night. By 6pm she was ready to go to bed, I felt bad that they had driven to see her & she was so fussy. What do you do.

I finalized everything for her monkey cake today & can't wait to see it on Saturday:) I am really looking forward to her party, but think it is going to be overwhelming. I think there are going to be 18 kids there (6 under the age of 1).

Hope everyone is having a good day!
B

Hanging in there

Sorry I am such a bad blogger over the weekends. This weekend was super busy & I still feel like I need a nap from it. I am been feeling pretty good. I looked at pics of last pregnancy last night & I feel like I already look bigger now than I did at 10 weeks before. After I eat, it looks like my stomach packed on at least 10 lbs. I am feeling pretty uneasy. Not to where I think I'll throw up, and I haven't thrown up, but just really uneasy and all the time. I was not this nauseous w/ Connelly ever:( But it will all be worth it to me when I bring home a little baby in July!!! I am really tired too. My boobs still haven't hurt at all, they may have grown a teeny-tiny bit, but barely noticeable, I still am not convinced if they have or not.
I go to the OB next week. However, I am thinking about pushing it off another week & calling the RE this week & trying to get back in at the end of this week, so I get one more u/s in. We'll see. I just have a feeling we'll be telling our friends this weekend b/c I don't know how I can hide my stomach any longer & I want to see the baby one more time before I tell them. This weekend my mom & sister decided to tell half the world so now I am nervous everyone is going to find out before Jeremy & I were ready. Oh well, what do you do. I just hope that everything works out good for us. In the past 2 years, my family has had 4 miscarriages between me & 2 of my sisters. I just don't want us to go through another!!!

Talk to you soon.
B

We have a heartbeat:)

I am so excited to say, that we were able to see our lil' bean's heartbeat this morning. The appointment went as well as we'd hoped. The doctor seemed a bit nervous at first, but then saw everything, and did let up that he was grateful for the outcome, so I think he was a bit nervous last week. I am just glad it all went well. We are so excited. I will try to download the pics tonight so I can upload them here. Thanks for all your thoughts & prayers, they worked!

B

Can't believe tomorrrow is already almost here

So glad today is almost over. I am SO tired & have felt pretty uneasy all day. I have to stay late tonight for work, so that really sucks, but at least it is for planning our awards ceremony this weekend & mainly we will be wrapping gifts, so that won't be that bad.

I can't belive tomorrow is already almost here. It seemed like a year from now just last week and in less than 24 hours I will either have really good or bad news. I should be able to see my baby's heartbeat tomorrow in the u/s, so that is what I am hoping for. I am so glad Jeremy gets to go w/ me. I just hope everything turns out okay. I have been very positive these past few days, so I am not completely freaking out, but you can't help but be nervous.

So keep your fingers crossed for me. I hope I have great news & pics to show tomorrow. Thanks for listening:)
B

Stupid boy comments

Last night I remembered that we needed to start taking 2 week pregnancy pics so I got the camera out for Jeremy to start snapping shots. And then I began to hear the same annoying comments that he used to make. He was laughing at me telling me I was sticking out my tummy & that I had no stomach at all & I was faking what I had & that I hadn't grown at all. Obviously he isn't noticing how tight the waist in all my pants are now. I am completely growing, I even weighed myself to see how much I weighed b/c I weighed myself the night I found out I was pregnant which was exactly 2 weeks ago as of yesterday. So anyways, I definitely had gained 6 lbs. YIKES!!! I know some of that is my weight just fluctuates a bit, but usually only by a couple pounds, not SIX!!! So I know I am growing. I guess I fear that if for some reason this doesn't work out, that is going to be really hard seeing my stomach has already grown but w/ no good outcome. I remember when I miscarried last time that being really hard on me. But I actually am feeling really good about this all right now. I hope I don't need to insert my foot in my mouth on that one, I am pretty positive.

This week hasn't been that bad so far, as far as waiting for Thursday goes, but I am only through 1 day. I am just SO tired!!! I made pot roast this morning & put it in the crock pot, so when I get home I don't have to do anything but eat. I am shopping for x-mas gifts today for my work awards ceremony (we bring in Santa) so hopefully that will make time fly by too. I just can't wait for this week to by over, but I hope it ends w/ good results for me:)

Just a few more days.

God this waiting sucks, but luckily w/ the short week last week & long weekend, that helped. Only 3 more days until my next u/s. I am praying that the baby grew & we will see a little beating heart:) I really hope so. I am a little more positive than last week. I am still feeling uneasy every once in a while, but not often. Other than that that is really my only symptom besides not starting my period. My stomach is growing though. My pants are alot tighter than they were 2 weeks ago & right after I eat, my stomach feels huge (to me). I hope everything is going okay w/ the lil' one.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, I did:) Not looking forward to paying the bills though after my Black Friday shopping. LOL!

Keep your fingers crossed & thanks for thinking of me!
Beth

Now I'm Nervous

So when I got to my appt. this morning I found out they were going to do an u/s. I was already a bit upset b/c I knew Jeremy wouldn't be able to make it, but he said to go ahead w/ it & so I did. As the RE was doing the u/s, he found the gestational sac right away & again on my right side, so so much for that side being blocked. There was only one. He didn't see a yolk sac though. I got extremely nervous. At the end he did end up seeing the yolk sac & showed me, but I am still freaking out. He thinks I conceived the 1st week in November & he said he looked like a 5 week pregnancy. However, I had my u/s w/ Connelly at 5 1/2 weeks & I remember her being very positive, seeing the yolk sac, but I can't remember if there was more or not. I kind of wish the NP would have done it instead of the RE, sometimes it is just better to have a woman b/c that have been in our shoes. He seemed pretty positive & said to still come back next Thursday and he hopes to see the baby & heartbeat then. He said that if we see the same thing next week, then I had a blighted ovum. I don't want a fucking blighted ovum! I want a baby. I am pretty scared now. I am just going to keeping praying that everything goes okay and that this baby was just conceived after we thought & so everything is good to go. Please pray for me:)

Beth

I Gotta Have Faith

Today is a much better day than yesterday. I am feeling much more positive. I forgot how much of a rollercoaster this is. I am looking forward to going to the doctor tomorrow & hoping for the best. I am so glad that today is my "Thursday" and the day is almost half way over. It will be SO nice to have a 5 day weekend and it doesn't hurt that I LOVE Thanksgiving & BLACK FRIDAY! I can't wait to get all the good deals:)

Not feeling so sure

I am just trying to stay positive but it is SO hard when you have had a miscarriage in the past. Plus I am not feeling some of the symptoms that I feel I should. My boobs are not sore AT ALL. I thought they were supposed to be at this point, so why aren't they. I have felt a little uneasy some days, but for the majority I feel 100% normal, as normal as I did on all the days I wasn't pregnant. I just don't know how I am going to wait until next Thursday for the u/s. I am thinking about calling the doctor today to see if I can come in sooner either for the u/s or at least for more bloodwork to make sure my numbers are still going up. I am just really scared & hope that everything is okay!!!


UPDATED****

I called the doctor & asked to come in this week for more bloodwork to help put my mind at ease. I was hoping to go in tomorrow, but they said Wednesday, so now I can't wait for that day to get here. I have been cramping alot today, so that worries me even though I know some cramping is normal. I tried to go back & read my posts from the beginning of my pregnancy w/ Connelly to see how this one compared, but it is so hard. I know I had cramping then too, but don't know if it was the same time b/c I would have just found out I was pregnant either today or sometime this week for that pregnancy, so it is a little different. I just hope everything is okay!!!

Why does everything have to be SO complicated???

Well, I managed to piss off Jeremy last night. We originally said we would tell his family first b/c we told mine first last time. Well my family is so complicated. I have 4 sisters, one of which has been trying to get pregnant for over 4 years & yesterday was her birthday. So anyways, my younger sister & I are the closest, she has always told me first when she is pregnant, so I thought I had to do her the honor too, plus Jeremy told me he had spilled the beans to her ex-husband (who are recently divorced, judge is signing off on the papers next week). And I wanted my mom to know, plus I feel like my mom is semi-sensitive so I felt like she might get her feelings hurt if I waited any longer, which she then told my dad. And we needed to borrow a "big sis" shirt from another sister in order to tell Jeremy's fam the way we wanted. AND I couldn't hold the secret back from my best friend any longer so I told her. So Jeremy only knew that I told two of my sisters & was annoyed, I didn't have the heart to tell him that my mom, dad & best friend all knew now too. I just wish it was as easy to tell my fam as his, or maybe it's me, that I put so much worry in what everyone is thinking that if I just sat back & relaxed no one would really care. I am always worrying about everyone's feelings though. I told Jeremy that next time we are just calling his freaking parents the second we find out to tell them, so I don't have to feel bad about telling anyone else. We just really wanted to surprise his parents in a neat way, and to do that you have to wait until the right moment, but in the mean time, I am so excited and can't keep my mouth shut:( I hope he isn't too disappointed, I do feel bad we didn't do it the way he wanted.

So we are leaving tonight to go to the lake w/ his fam & I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO KNOW!!!

I really hope everything is going okay inside me. I just pray that this pregnancy sticks!!!

I do already feel very bloated. Jeremy said its all in my head that my stomach doesn't get bigger in 3 days, but I feel that way. Or maybe since I know I am pregnant, I don't suck in anymore, but I am telling you, my stomach feels bigger. It must be in my head:)

Have a good weekend!
Beth

Beta TRIPLED!!!

Yikes. What does that mean. It is now 1134. The NP said she is a little curious now to if there is more than one in there. Our u/s is scheduled for December 3rd, how am I EVER going to wait that long??? I want to see the little guy(s)/girl(s) NOW!!! I am SO excited & can't believe it.

More bloodwork

Just got back awhile ago from the doctor's office. I built up the courage to ask what my beta was on Tuesday and she said 378. She said that it was a great number b/c I would have been at 4 weeks & 3 days on Tuesday. The NP even said that she was curious if there was more than one follicle that had been released or if we just had a strong singleton. I was able to relax a bit after this. I should find out today about 2pm what todays beta was. I am SO hoping that my numbers doubled. Keep your fingers crossed!

I'll let you know once I find out.

Thanks for listening!
Beth

I think the drugs worked:)

Sunday was day 29 of my cycle. For the past couple months I have been having light spotting for about 2 days before I start my period so that is what I was expecting Friday & Saturday and nothing. I was supposed to start my period on Sunday & nothing. I was freaking out b/c I figured that my luck the Femara I took was probably making my cycle longer & that I was going to start my period and be so upset. This month was so different from other months. I was SO relaxed and just happy, no matter what happened. That is until Sunday, when I was just so anxious & SO scared. I slept about 2-1/2 hours on Sunday night b/c all I could think about was "am I pregnant???" On Monday night I bought a pregnancy test. W/in seconds of taking it, it was positive. I AM PREGNANT!!! I have NEVER seen a positive result on a pregnancy test, it was SO exciting. Last time I found out I was pregnant was through an ultrasound at 5-1/2 weeks b/c I couldn't figure out why I wasn't starting my period b/c I was told I couldn't get pregnant that month. The time before that was over the phone after bloodwork only to find out 2 days later I had miscarried. I am SOOOOOO scared that this pregnancy isn't going to stick. I got my blood done yesterday and the doctor said my beta was good, but she wasn't offering up the number & I was scared to ask so I didn't. I go again tomorrow & I HOPE that my numbers at least double. We want this so badly. What a nice Christmas gift early. I just want to be able to tell our family this weekend our exciting news, it would be so amazing. I can't think about anything else right now, I am just freaking out about this. I am praying so hard that I am able to keep this pregnancy & that we will have a little baby at the end of July!!!

Thanks for listening:) And if you know me personally PLEASE do not pass on this information. We really would not like anyone to know until we feel more comfortable with this.

Beth

Long night at work

I am still working, but luckily I am getting ready to leave. This has been a long week. I am very much looking forward to Connelly's 1st Halloween this weekend.

Tonight we start trying again. I am most fertile today through Sunday, so I got my fingers crossed for a good month!

All right, well I am out of here.

Have a good night!

Back to Work

This weekend was one of the first we have had at home for awhile. It we haven't always been out of town, just SO busy. I was able to get so much cleaning done on Saturday & Sunday, it was just so nice to be home!!!

I went to this Holiday Fair w/ my mom & sisters on Thursday night. Holy pregnant women. I have not seen so many pregnant people together ever I don't think. I think I notice them more now that I want to be part of their "team." I am finishing up my period right now and hope to start trying starting either tomorrow or Wednesday night. However this week is one of the two worst weeks at my work all year. I am going to be extremely tired and know that all I am going to want to do when I get home is sleep not have sex. So that is hard. I really wished I enjoyed "trying" to have babies more. And don't get me wrong I do enjoy it once we're doing it, however, it is the process before sex of just getting ready and the anticipation of it that I dread, and partly b/c I am sort of lazy about it. I feel quite badly about this, but I am just being honest.

Anyways, hope everyone had a good weekend and wishes you all a great Halloween week!!!
Beth

Missing Connelly

So I had a conference today and court tonight for work so I am not w/ my lil' monkey. I could hear her over the phone in the car w/ Jeremy earlier today and it made me miss her. Tomorrow night I am having a night w/ my mom & sisters and won't be able to see her then either. I am really going to just want to snuggle w/ her this weekend. Luckily Jeremy's mom is watching her tomorrow so maybe she'll meet me for lunch.

Monday we were over at Jeremy's brother's house hanging out w/ them & his parents & Connelly kept getting in my purse. She kept pulling out my Femara pills. At first Jeremy's mom put them back, and then I could see the questions running through her mind from across the room. The next time Connelly grabbed them, I could see that Jeremy's mom placed them back into my purse, but in a way that she could read what they were. So I don't know if she suspected they were prenatal vitamins or what & I don't know if she'll know exactly what they are from reading the bottle. But now she knows I am on something at least. I didn't really want them or my family to know we had started trying yet, but oh well. Hopefully we won't be trying long.

When we went to see the RE last month I asked if I would ever have to do the HCG test again. It was SOOOOOO painful the last time I had it done, so I was hoping not. He said yes. If I don't get pregnant in the next couple months, he said that is what he would suggest before anything else. I told him that I would need major drugs to knock me out b/c that procedure was a million times worse than giving birth to a 9+lb baby. He now says he doesn't know if my tube was really blocked, yeah right, it was freaking blocked, I know, I was there & the dye would NOT go through that side. Believe she tried everything, it was BLOCKED! Please, please, please don't make me go through that again, not only for the pain but also for the price. It wasn't covered, so we had to pay for it all and it was over a grand. Nope, don't want that price tag again.

Anyways, thanks for letting me rant again. Hope all are having a great day:)
Beth

Here We Go Again!

Day 3 of this cycle & I just popped my first Femara pill in over a year & a half. I am not looking forward to this trying to get pregnant process again. This will be our 2nd (sort of 3rd) month of trying. The 1st month we really only had sex once, so I can't really count that month, but last month we actively tried and no baby, just my extremly heavy period. I was pretty disappointed on Thursday night when I knew I was starting my period. I didn't think it would happen that fast, but I was so hopeful. I REALLY didn't want to have to stress & worry like before.

I can't forget the fact that I have a beautiful little girl that is the light of my life & I am SO thankful for. But I can't help to want more. I have always wanted a huge family and so I hope that someday I have that.

It was so weird that in the months before we started trying I was SO not ready to have another baby or to be pregnant. But now that I am ready, I feel like I am not only ready to be pregnant, but actually ready to have the baby here now. God, I am really impatient. If I get pregnant this month then our baby will be due at the end of July. I learned from my first pregnancy that you don't get to plan when your baby is due, however, I really wanted a summer baby this time. I really wanted to be on maternity leave over the summer & I really wanted our babies to be 18 months apart. Right now I can still get a couple of those wants, but I feel like w/ each day I am running out of time. And again, I will take a baby whenever, but you can't help to have those superficial wants.

I have only told my best friend that I am actively trying right now, so a couple people (that see me on a regular basis) might find out now, but oh well.

Thanks for letting me rant. I hope everyone is doing okay out there. Sorry it has been so long. We have had an extremely busy summer & fall. We are doing great. Connelly is getting so big. She has 8 teeth, she crawls, pulls up, stands (even though I haven't really seen this yet), and finally says "mama!" She is my everything and I thank god everyday for her. I attached a recent photo of her.

I will be back b/c I want to share this journey with you all again!

Beth

More pics

At the lake

Bathtime

Family pic

6 month pics

In Florida

Since I hadn't posted in so long, thought I would post a couple more pics.

Checking In:)

In Florida

At the Royals game w/ Slugger

5 month old pics

Baptism

Hope all is well w/ everyone out there in the blogosphere! I know i haven't been around, so if anyone is still out there, hope you're doing good.

Connelly is 7 months old! Where does the time go? She is eating solid foods, pooping solids too (LOL), she is sitting up, loving her toys she has 2 teeth w/ more on the way & started going through the separation anxiety thing. We have let herself cry herself to sleep & now successsfully sleeping through the night.

We love her so much and are truly happier than we have ever been.

Above are some recent pics. Enjoy!

Till next time I write, have a great life:)

Beth

SHE'S ALREADY 4 MONTHS OLD!

1st day of daycare

her MIZZOU swimsuit

Easter w/ momma

look at that BIG girl:)

Easter - 4 months old

I can't believe it. She is growing so fast. She now likes to sit up, she really wants to roll over. She is SO smiley & she even laughs now. We are having such a blast and can't believe how much we are in love with her.

Enjoy the pics, I hope you are all well!!!

Beth

What a Year

Well hello again!

Sorry I have been so busy, that I haven't been able to keep up with the blogging world, but don't worry I haven't forgot about you all.

Connelly was 3 months on the 12th, I will have to post some more pics when they are downloaded. She is doing good, except she has a cold right now and isn't sleeping well. We went from 9 hours a night to 2 1/2 increments. It really sucks, so I am hoping she is back to her normal sleep schedule once she feels better. Part of the problem is I started back at work and I think that has messed her up a bit too.

One year ago today I got the news from the doctor that I couldn't get pregnant that month b/c my eggs were once again on my bad side. Little did I know that one of my eggs and one of Jeremy's spermies had a different plan in mind and somehow came together that day or the next. I found out April 10th that I was 5 1/2 pregnant. And today I have the most amazing 3 month baby girl. I feel so blessed. Thank you god for giving me such a wonderful gift. And thank you to all my supporters for the past year. It was such a nerve-wrecking year, but incredible too. I really appreciate you all being there for me with your kind words and advice and letting me lean on each of you.

I am sorry I don't keep up more, but I guess my situation has changed a bit. I am going to try to keep up, but I have to admit it won't be on a daily basis.

I hope you are all doing well.
Beth

2 months old

Connelly will be 2 months old on Thursday, I can't believe it. I am almost done with my leave and have just started to really get very anxious over that. I do not want to go back to work even though I know I have to. Just yesterday I was changing her (her favorite times are getting changed on her changing table) and she was so smiley and I realized that I am going to begin to miss those moments after I go back to work. I am going to miss her so much and I can't stand it. We go in for her shots Thursday, luckily Jeremy is coming b/c I think it will be hard on me. She has been really congested lately though, so I am curious if they will give them to her. At night I can even feel her weezing. I attached some of my favorite pics that we had taken from the photographer. I hope everyone is doing well, I am sorry I haven't been very active in the blog, but I am trying to soak in every moment of her before I have to head back to work. Well she is waking up so I have to go. Have a great week.

beth

6 weeks

Tomorrow marks Connelly's 6th week birthday. I also go in for my 6th week checkup. The last 2 days have been really hard. I have been exhausted. Yesterday and today Connelly has been crying way more than usualy and I have been more tired. She is starting to smile a bit, but I still haven't considered any her 1st smile yet, not until she gives me a full out grin. I can't remember if I mentioned I got her pictures taken last week by this amazing photographer, I have been waiting all week for them to be posted. Well today she called and told me most of the pictures had somehow been deleted. I was so bummed, b/c the best pics were taken at the end of the session. We go back Sunday to have more taken, but when you have a 9lb 4oz baby at birth, they are quite huge at 6 weeks. And she has a little bit of baby acne. So I really hope she gets a lot more great shots and she is able to get them up fast so I can get the announcements ordered and sent out b/c I am a little behind on that.

Okay, well off to bed for me. Have a great night.
Beth

1 month old

Connelly was 1 month on Monday. Wow time flies by when you're a first time mom. Connelly is doing great. Breastfeeding was SO hard the first month. Miraculously something happened between last Friday & Saturday and now it doesn't hurt. I mean Friday I was still in so much pain, latching was excruciating and I cringed mostly the whole feeding time, but not anymore. It doesn't even really hurt to latch her anymore. I am so glad, b/c I asked myself everyday why I was still trying, it was beginning to not be worth it. I still alternate every once in a while with breastmilk in bottles, which gives me a nice break. Also she slept through the night for the first time Tuesday night. We put her to bed at 10pm and I woke her up at 7:30am. I figured it would probably be a one time thing, but she slept through the night again. Last night we put her to bed at 10:30pm and she woke up this morning at 7am. I can't believe it, I feel so lucky. I still get up once a night to pump though, but I am glad she is getting her rest. Anyways, I hope all is well (Martha, Jen, Nancy, Carrie, everyone else). Sorry I haven't been in the blogging world for a while.

The pic I took on Monday when she was 1 month old. We are having her pics taken tomorrow by this AMAZING photographer that takes pics like Anne Geddes so I am so pumped.

Have a great day and week.

Beth