Well first off, happy Monday everyone. I am not glad to be at work, the weekend went by WAY too fast. We did go see that Vantage Point movie, I strongly recommend it to others. You were on the edge of your seat the whole film, which ended up only being about an hour & 20 minutes. It was good.
So I have been thinking alot lately about this blog and how and if I want to share it with my family & friends. I have been pretty open with them about my infertility up until after our miscarriage. I was so upset & disappointed with last months results that this month I had a really hard time keeping everyone up to date b/c I was scared of the pressure I would be under again. As it turned out, like you all already know, my eggs were on my bad side & we ended up not being able to go through with IUI #2.
I have an extremely hard time opening up to people. You would think that it might be easy growing up with 4 sisters and great parents, but I just don't know how to share my feelings very well w/o feeling judged. The only two people that I feel like I have been able to completely share all my feelings with were my boyfriends, one now being my husband. I don't know why I could share everything with them, I guess it was because I was & am in love and felt the closeness you feel with someone that you love like that. Obviously I know now I can share anything with my husband & I am glad that our communications skills & relationship are solid. I just don't know why I am so scared to trust my other loved ones with my heart & feelings. I think it is b/c I have such a hard time trusting people, and I have no idea where that came from.
So anyway I really want to open my heart up not only to my new friends online that I feel comfortable with & feel I won't be judged, but also to my friends & family. The main reason I am so worried is b/c of what I talked about in my first blog again. I get really REALLY high expectations for EVERYTHING & get let down REALLY hard when things don't go my way. I am worried about people in my everyday life knowing every detail about our reproductive life as it unfolds. I am worried my friends & family knowing about doctor's results before I am ready for them to know. I am worried about getting pregnant & having everyone know & not being able to have the big surprise that I have always wanted in telling my friends & family.
I am trying to weigh the pros & cons with this decision & am not sure which side weighs more!!! I know I spoke with Maria about this, & really appreciated her insight. I would also love to hear what others have to say about this & what you all have done.
Thanks for listening & have a great day & week!
Beth
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5 comments:
I know that I say things on my blog that I would not say to anyone in real life. No one at all from my real life reads my blog or even knows about it. I told my husband that I blog, but he specifically doesn't read it in case I ever want to complain about him. :) I like being able to say anything I want without worrying that I will have to deal with the fallout in real life.
Of course, no one in real life knows that we are trying to conceive or having trouble with it. And I often feel guilty because I know that my mother would love to read about the goings on in my life, but I wouldn't post what I do if she were reading.
Basically, I just decided to have a secret blog so that I could post freely. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to complain about what I do complain about. It's hard to put something in print because you can't take it back later.
Well, it may not be fair for me comment on this post because I think you know the answer! But as I have said before, I respect your privacy and if you ever want me to stop reading, I will.
I worry about you and Jeremy all of the time. I wonder what is going on in your efforts to get pregnant and how you are both handling it all. Reading your blog is an easy way to answer my questions and for me to stay up-to-date.
I also think you know that I will not share anything you write on your blog with anyone.
Love you guys! Wishing only the best!
Carrie
Only a few of my friends knows about my blog. One actually reads it and the other checks it every so often. No one in my family reads it.
I actually like that no one "IRL" reads it. I'm able to be more open here than anywhere else. Although I am pretty damned open with them anywho.
Bottom line though, it's up to you. If you would like to use this medium as a way of opening up to them, inviting your family and friends to read would be a great idea.
This is specifically your call!
I myself am an open book. I say everything to everyone of course my situation is different than yours in some ways.
Anyhow, it's something you have to decide on your own. If you want others to know whats going on great and if you want them to know and not comment tell them that too!
Good luck on your decision!
No matter what you decide, never feel like you're doing it for anyone else but yourself.
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